I read an article the other day that no matter how hard you try most people can keep up with only 150 friends. What do you think about yourself? The article on friendships took into account social networking and other forms of contact that might or might not be considered meaningful. They found that no matter how many "friends" you might have online you really can only keep up with 150 in any real way. Sometimes I feel like my "number" is far less than that. I feel like I do a terrible job as a friend keeping up with my friends, who are scattered all over the globe.
At some point something has to give. I think that my job should be taken into account too. I have probably a couple hundred sources. I have to keep up with the goings on in a city, three tribes, nine school districts, one national park and countless people on those beats. I think that eats into my "social energy" which already was never high. I was always more of a wallflower than a social butterfly. Do you think you can keep up with more people? Fewer people?
Is drifting OK? Natural? Not good? Through my whole life I've been shocked at who has made the effort to stay in contact and who has drifted away. I was surprised as a child, for example, by Matt. Even when a couple of my closer friends stopped writing, I continued to get letters from him even into high school (after I wasn't cool and living in Brazil.) Since high school, Louie has been really great about calling and e-mailing and IMing and staying in touch. Both of those surprised me. I wouldn't have predicted those to be enduring friendships. I think that I've always wanted to stay in touch so badly that sometimes it hinders my building friendships in the new place. I would spend so much time keeping in touch with those left behind that those who surround me at the present moment are ignored -- leaving me without a support system. I think I'm doing a better job of balancing, but I sometimes wonder if my friends feel neglected. Maybe it is just narcissistic of me to think that they notice that much. Everyone's lives move on, after all. I guess I'm reflective because my plans for my future seem to be in limbo. I don't know really what I'm going to do or go.
Do I move forward, backtrack or find a new path altogether? How much effort should be put into keeping the ties in good shape with those who will inevitably move on somewhere else and those who I will inevitably leave behind? Is it being a fair-weather friend or keeping your sanity?
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3 comments:
lol I don't think that they were saying 150 people in a meaningful way... just keep up at least with a message now and then etc. I think it is possible that I do that, but for sure not in a meaningful way. :)
--Paige
FYI: Going back to a place - with a purpose in mind, is not necessarily "backtracking." It is not failure, or defeat. It can be re-purposing from a safe place, and regaining some perspective before moving on to the next adventure.
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